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X_countryguy's Journal

25th August, 2010. 2:34 pm. Only three updates in one year

Hello to the dozen people subscribed to this. Not huge on Livejournal anymore. I get more mileage out of Facebook these days. I felt like updating since a day from yesterday marked one year with my current employer. Nothing changes at work due to that fact especially since I found out that I was disqualified from getting vacation due to going back to school. Great.

I am going back to school this year. It will take me four semesters to get a BS in Business Administration and hopefully off I go with a job or here I'll stay for an attempt at the MBA program. My time on campus will likely be limited. Having lost contact with most of the gamers on campus for one reason or another I'll just be attending strategy nights to blow off some steam from the long day of classes on Monday.

Other than that I am starting on the p90x program on Sunday. It will be 90 days of workouts ranging from an hour to an hour and a half long. I've previewed or worked out through most of the DVDs at this point and I'm confident that I can do this. I've been posting up regular updates on Facebook largely for my own benefit but it is nice to see I have a couple of followers on that front.

The house is still standing and now I have a couple of rooms painted. Once my current housemates move out I'll be painting the rest of the downstairs and *cleaning*. I may have a line on someone else moving in to help with the bills at the end of the year but we'll see.

Anyway, work at three so I have about 10 minutes to get dressed, get a bowl of soup to bring over and then another fifteen minutes to make the drive over to work.

See you in a year perhaps.

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8th December, 2009. 1:04 pm. To the people who might read this

After several months of not being on campus I realize I quite like it that way. As such, anyone who does not receive information about me directly from me should disregard it. What goes on with my life and with my family is, kindly, none of your fucking business unless you ask me about it directly. I share parts of my life with my two house mates because I figure if I receive news that will make me more reclusive than I already am then it would be courteous that they know what is happening.

If people are interested in my life they can talk to me. Otherwise bugger off. I'm not going onto campus or pretty much outside of my home for a reason. Forget I exist unless you want to seek me out. It's really not hard to get in contact with me.

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16th August, 2009. 4:28 pm. Good news on my LJ? Wha?

I got a job! I'm hired as a manager for the Friendly's in Oswego! Hooray!

Now I just have to finish my music history studying.

Current mood: accomplished.

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5th August, 2009. 5:42 pm. Luking fur wurk, plz send monies

Job listing from craigslist.org:

Dont need experience..Actually prefer none or just a little ( no bad habits) You will learn the business from ground up. Starting with pressure washing, scrapping, sanding, caulking and priming. Must have transportation and license. Prefer non smoker due to no smoking policy onsite of projects. But if you can go 2-3 hrs without one and not get pisssy..its ok. Must have some strenght and cordination..(To carry 32 feet ladders) Starting pay is 7-9 dollars and goes up as fast as you learn. Pay will go up as high as $14.00 hr. A good work ethic is needed..no laxy or slackers need to apply. All you need is white shorts or pants ..We supply everything else.

My thought up response: i m have strenght enuf 2 carry 32 feet ladders. im no laxy or pisssy at al! its ok!

Current mood: amused?.

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14th July, 2009. 10:39 pm. For all those that don't read my private postings

I sell Avon now. www.youravon.com/adeerkop Please support me. This is my second job. :D

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19th May, 2009. 3:50 pm.

Well here I am. I feel like I have nothing better to do with myself than to post something self serving on my LJ. I think I've more or less failed out of school. That means at the end of the summer I'm out of a job. Time to look for something that pays minimum wage that I can do full time. The stress of everything that I let get to me means that I can't come back to school next year. I failed my music history course too much but with everything going on this semester I couldn't even attend class. I had an anxiety attack practically every lecture. I might be able to do an independent study this semester to make up for it but I talked to my professor about it and I don't think she has the time for me. Makes sense, I didn't make the time for the class. I should have gotten out a long time ago. I think it's time for me to distance myself from this school and all its activities. I've decided not to participate in any STG function save for NYSH since I promised I'd help ST the game even though it's against my better judgement. Honestly I think I'm a bad ST and I don't have anything to offer the game, especially since I can't seem to stay awake that late. It was a stupid idea to think that I could participate. I don't want to spend time with the club. When I broke up with Rachel I knew I disappointed the entire club and I hate myself for it. I can't look any of them in the eye anymore and, besides, what am I now? I'm one of the old guys. 24 years old, single, fat, awkward. I'm the type of person that fills in the stereotypes that the club is trying to dispel. People just get angry when I try to participate. I 'browbeat' people, I'm a 'control freak'. I probably make the girls nervous by being around. I don't care. I can't care.

I just finished removing all the photos I ever had tagged of me on Facebook. God, I looked so ugly. Still do. I also see myself in a bunch of situations that I don't want to remember. Time I spent with the DDR club, stupid pirate costumes at Halloween dances. Seeing my guy spill over my pants at NYSH. Seeing my wedding photos... Trash. All of it. I don't belong in any of those places. I screwed up the right to have ever existed in them.

I have no marketable skills. I have no interests anymore. I don't really have a past. I don't have much of a family and nobody that I really trust as a friend. I'm floating out here without a cause or purpose. I'm only capable of doing easy jobs because I'm too lazy to go on to bigger things. I think I chose to stay in Oswego not to do the one thing that I still find fun, (Novitas, but I think that once I have a failure in that at some point I'll quit that, too), but because it's where I ended up. There is no room or money to explore here. This town doesn't have much to offer and I don't have anything to offer it. Sounds picture perfect. Match made in Heaven. I think I'll start applying for all the fast food places soon. Availability starts at the end of August.

So I'm sorry that I disappointed all of you. I don't have much of myself to disappoint. I'm not going to make this post private. I've shut out quite a few people from this journal on purpose because I didn't want them to know I existed. I'm too ashamed to go on still being with people. I want everyone to read this to see how pathetic I've become and to go away knowing that I should be left alone.

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30th March, 2009. 6:42 am. Food journal

I remember that about a year and a half ago I posted up everything I ate throughout the day in attempt to track my food intake. I should start doing that again.

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10th February, 2009. 6:25 am. It was amazing

I felt myself fail a Fortitude save last night.

Now I have a fever and I ache like hell...

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18th January, 2009. 9:41 am.

Today is a good day for Beatles music.

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22nd September, 2008. 5:41 am. Inspiration?

So, yeah. Looks like my posting streak ended shortly after Novitas. I've been getting into a habit of being too tired and feeling the need to be entertained too much to bother doing anything else. I'm gaining weight, I'm sure since I've stopped doing exercises in the morning. I haven't felt like it. I wake up and feel like crap. I can never get my blood pumping in the morning. I haven't wanted to do my homework if it requires more than five minutes attention. That means no reading, no studying, just a quick, last minute dash to do homework in subjects that I already know what to do. Pretty much the only thing I've kept up with is my piano but that's because it's a new project and I'm getting a lot done which inspires me to do more. I'm afraid that once that starts getting hard I won't practice as much. I need to actually go to karate all three times this week, and not just once. I feel tired thinking about all the things I need to do. I just wish I could think about one thing at once and actually want to do it.

Current mood: tired.

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